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Tag: jokes

Science jokes! Part 3

For a little Christmas fun, here is a third collection of jokes with a sciencey flavour. Click to enlarge the pictures.


What is the definition of a tachyon?
—It’s a gluon that’s not completely dry.


Doctor, doctor I’ve come out in spots, like cherries on a cake.
—Ah! You must have analogy.

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Science jokes 2

Here is a second collection of science jokes. The first collection is here.


“Do you know the name Pavlov?”
— “It rings a bell.”

What does a subatomic duck say? (The answer is so obvious that you will have to supply it yourself.)

There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies, “For you, no charge”.


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(An old one, carefully reworked:)

An engineer, a logician and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.
The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.
Later, the logician wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway, and also a trash can lying there with some water in the bottom. He thinks a little and then he says, “A solution exists!” and goes back to bed. Fortunately the engineer woke up again and put the fire out.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He looks in the hallway but there is no sign of any fire. But he notices the wet trash can, and thinks hard. Then he lights a match and sets the hallway on fire, saying to himself as he returns to bed, “Thus we reduce the problem to one which has already been solved.”





The following are from

“Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?” An auto mechanic: “To get to the other side?”
(This is sort of an intriguing answer if you think in terms of the principle of least action.)

“Which is more useful, the Sun or the Moon?”
A thirteen-year old: [Pause] “I think it’s the Moon because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the Sun shines during the day when you don’t need it.”

Before docking with the International Space Station, what must the pilot of a space module first do?
A: Put money in a parking meteor.   (sorry)

Niel Armstrong: “Oh no, Mission Control, I just stepped on Buzz Aldrin’s toe. What should I do? Over.”
Mission Control: “What do you think? Apollogize.”


There are two types of people in the world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

Why did sin get a tan?
Just cos.

Dean, to the physics department. “Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn’t you be like the math. department – all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper.”

An engineer, and physicist and a statistician are walking in the woods when suddenly a hungry grizzly bear comes running towards them. The engineer fires his rifle, but shoots high. The physicist has a go, but shoots low. They look at each other. “Hooray!” says the statistician, “we got him!”


Happy Christmas!

Science jokes

For my Christmas blog, here are a few assorted jokes. They are mostly but not all science- or maths-related. My favourites are the ones that hint at existential angst. (For any that look a bit blurred, click for a sharper image.)


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